I was out and about on Friday and happened to glance at our local newspaper to see that gay marriage had finally come to my home state of Montana.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I sat in a public space as waves of overwhelming feeling poured over me.  For some reason it become a defining moment in my life where I have now become totally accepted for who and what I am.  I guess I knew in my heart it was on its way, so many other states have already adopted it.  One of my best friends married a truly remarkable partner last year in Seattle, I was not able to attend but when they described how overwhelming the whole experience was to be surrounded by people so much family, such close friends, people who admire and adore you to celebrate their love and commitment to each other.   I felt a little pang with jealousy that they were already there and we were not yet.  I was born in a small Montana community and partially raised on a fourth generation cattle ranch that was homesteaded by my great grandfather.  I always realized I was different, and most of my life became a battle to defend that difference.  It was not genetic and it was not choice it was just the simple fact that I was what I was, gay!  I have always been open about my feelings and my passions, even though most of my youth I was encouraged to overlook or suppress what I was.  Over the years it has created a certain amount of anguish, as if I was living on the outside of society but not actually able to enter within it.  It made me stronger, I developed a resilience to become comfortable as myself.  It defined my character but built my personality.  I have always been drawn to the creative arts as a means of expression.  It was through this expression I found myself, told and showed the world who I was, through my work and was actually define and explore all my feelings and emotions.  The struggle to define one’s self is what makes truly interesting artistic expression.  Though I don’t feel compelled to rush out and marry the man of my life, whom I have loved and adored for 17 years I do see what a remarkable and blessed journey I have been on.  It somehow feels awesome to be accepted with open in a place I have always been a part of.

Today’s image was part of a series I was shooting for book cover art for Dream Spinner Press.  I have been selling many of my images for cover art for romance novels but never quite got around to submitting this series yet.