I grew up on a fifth-generation cattle ranch in the then “wilds” of Western Montana, always thinking there was something wrong with me. I knew I was somehow different as I had an inclination to create something artistic and was attracted to other boys of my own gender. My life become a struggle to find acceptance of what I was and overcome the obstacles that squelched my need to express what I wanted to become. I felt condemned by a lifestyle I had not chosen but was thrust upon me, and for many years loathed what I could not change. It took many decades for me to come to some sort of understanding that I was normal. This project became a year-long exploration of that journey of coming to terms with myself and putting my experiences into some sort of perspective.
The project came about at a time in my life when I had lost hope and felt the world disintegrating around me, and I was not sure where I would go or do. I had worked in theater for many decades, but was burned out on feeling the homelessness one feels from such nomadic work. I returned to Montana and took up photography, but it hadn’t quite kicked in as a means of finical sustenance. I applied for my dream job to be an administrative assistant for the theater program at our local university. I was one of the two finalist for the position and he was chosen over me. Devastated, I sank into depression, knowing I would now have to rely on photography as my sole means of survival.
The project immediately exploded, not just in the gay artist community where it was intended, but on a global scale as people related to my struggles in their own search for their own identities.
The project began on the Blogger platform and eventually become the site it is today. Now nearly a decade later, as the site still has thousands of visitors each month, I have decided to update the site, for the current media, making it more navigable for cell and tablet devices. The site is largely intact in its original format. I avoided making the site commercial, because I felt it would destroy the integrity of what I was trying to express, after all this is a personal journey. Thank you to everyone who has supported and will continue to support my venture.
