Category Archives: Conception

A Leap of Faith

OK here we go: a leap of faith. I am finding t I am wanting to retreat into my sorted world of insecurities, which I must admit can consume me. But now is the time to really begin my focus on beauty and art and that’s what this project is really about. I am deeply romantic at my core; it’s one of the things that really excites me about who I am. I don’t really care to change the world, and for the most part am very withdrawn from it. I love soft light and constantly strive to work with it in my imagery. In fact my entire studio is completely wired on a series of dimmers so that I can have control of creating the perfect environment for whatever mood I am in. Music is an integral part of that romantic allure. I love music; all kinds of music and often becomes part of the design. For me this is what the photograph becomes about, setting up the environment for a tone, a feeling, an emotions and creating that entire state of existence. It becomes intoxicating, entrancing, and often time very hypnotic. It allows me to bond with the subject so we can go on a highly personal journeys together, to get to the core of what I am feeling, and explore our identities.

When I first got into photography I was drawn to the images of Robert Mapplethorpe. I was not sure why. Was it the mystic behind the person? Was it his bold approach to subject matter he tackled? There was always something in the images that riveted me to his subjects. I spent many years searching for my connection to his work. Much of his stuff was so far removed from my world and existence. Yet it was haunting, like a siren song. There was such poetic beauty in the imagery. Year later after I had begun to develop my own style I read an interview with him that suddenly made the connection for me. He basically said that you must have a strong connection to the subject. He loved to talk to, in fact insisted on personally connecting to his subjects first. This builds trust and draws them in. In this business I meet so many strangers. When I begin to work with someone new I always plan some time where I can talk to them, really connect to who they are. I am curious about people by nature and have an even stronger curiosity about what it is within myself that is drawn to this particular person. The photographic sessions then becomes an exploration of myself, my own personal journey, and to eventually unveil what is remarkable about this subject. And yes, every single person has some remarkable quality within them, it’s just a mater of how guarded they are to reveal it and let it surface. Somehow people trust you as a photographer and are more susceptible to allowing you into their inner selves. Some of these bonds last, some of them are fleeting, but it always lingers with what’s left behind, the image.

“Having just a vision’s no solution…”

Glenn worked a miracle and some how replaced the hard drive from my laptop and I spent the morning rebuilding everything back to where it was before the crash earlier this week. I still lost all my personal files and journals from last year. The computer now seems some how better, faster for sure. I am back in business. Wow I am exhausted after all the hubbub this week from my constant battle with technology. People are actually responding to the new Facebook page and this blog. I am awestruck by the kind words and encouragement people have been giving me. The greatest response from most people is: “I didn’t know you did this sort of stuff and your caliber of work is top notch”. Ye-haw!  I now know I am heading in the right direction only after a week of work here. The greatest compliment of all was from Hank who wrote this:

“The past is but a fading memory; capture the turning points and record them as markers; the future is a mystery; capture the dream of what could be; the present is just that, a gift; record it as if there is no tomorrow and no one around to play god and pass judgment; you are more than you realize to others and have made unseen difference in many lives; record it, let it emerge as a light in a dark place, a beacon in moonless night.”

I asked him where the quote was from and he said he wrote it about my work. Wow this totally blew my mind, thanks Hank!!!! Week one and I have 28 followers. Thanks to all of you out there for your support.

Phase one is complete and I am underway. My next step is to begin creating a website. I feel like I need some kind of marketing tool to begin to promote what I do. This is going to be more difficult to get done. I had hired a kid a year or so back to reinvent my business and come up with a new website but we never quite pulled it together. I got busy, then he got busy, then I got busy, then I wasn’t quite sure the direction I wanted to go, meanwhile I pumped a lot of money into it, and now I can’t seem to reach him to move forward, backward or even recover what we have already started. So it looks like I may have to begin from scratch again. I always love this process of creation. I have been researching this morning to see about getting Dream Weaver and the learning materials needed to get started. My goal: by the end of January to have a new website up and running.

My second objective is to find models to work with and begin creating new images for this “Naked Man Project”. After seeing my work, you may be thinking this won’t be difficult, but it’s the most difficult part of this whole process. Montana is not a hotbed of people willing to work with me on these sorts of images. It takes a lot of networking, I mean a lot of networking and most of the time it leads to someone saying they are interested, we schedule something and they never show up. It’s my constant frustration with trying to create art with other people as subjects. Once in a great while I will find someone and then work the heck out them. Two of my favorite people to work with are Jeremy and Travis you will begin to see a lot of their images on here in the upcoming year.

My basic approach is to come up with a design element I am interested in exploring, for instance: working with a piece of fabric, recreating beautiful light I saw in a painting, revisiting a memory of an experience I once had, an emotional state I may be in. Some of the concepts are tangible, some abstract. I then bring in subjects I want to work with and explore the possibilities of that concept or idea. The process is quite fun. Most of the people that come in to be photograph have low self-esteem of themselves. They never quite see themselves the way I can. Almost everyone is totally blown away by what they see and find in the images we have created together. It’s an organic process from start to finish. It begins with talking and getting comfortable with each other, then as they begin to reveal themselves and explore their own sense of identity I am there to capture them in the most beautiful light, that matches where they are emotionally at this point in their process. I coach and encourage people to break out of their norm and trust their own process. It’s not just hot young built bodies I work with, there are all kinds of people, different sizes, shapes, and personalities; men, women, couples, gay, straight. Women are typically more reserved and self guarded and often have the images created for their husbands or partners that are away in the war or something.  They somehow feel comfortable with the fact that I am a gay man and trust my sensibility toward beauty. They do not allow me to show any of their work, hence The Naked MAN Project.  Most men could care less who sees them in this light, I respect everyone’s right to privacy and confidentiality. I believe there is something extraordinary about everyone and will study them until I can find how best to capture or bring it to light. It is the process of finding beauty that captivates and ignites my passion. This week’s focus will be to find new ways to network and find some new subjects to work with.

“A vision’s just a vision if it’s only in your head!
If no one gets to see it, it’s as good as dead!
It has to come to life!
Bit by bit, putting it together
Piece by piece, only way to make a work of art
Every moment makes a contribution
Every little detail plays a part
Having just a vision’s no solution
Everything depends on execution
Putting it together, that’s what counts!”

“Putting it Together” from the musical “Sunday in the Park with George”
Lyrics by Steven Sondheim

 

Postcards from the Edge

We are a week into the new year and I have accomplished the first phase goal I had set for this new new project.   I have created a Facebook page showing a large assortment of my imagery and varying styles.  In case you have not seen it Terry J Cyr Photography on Facebook. This process is defiantly forcing me to look at my library and sort though my images.   It’s actually kind of fun to begin working toward creating some semblance of a portfolio of what I have done.   It surprises me to see my images together.  As I am looking at it I am thinking wow did I actually create all this.  I think sometimes, as artist, we stay so focused in the details of what we are currently dealing with that we don’t always see the over all picture of who we are or what we have become.  I have begun this blog to pull my thoughts, ideas, dreams, and experiences together collectively.   I do not really know if anyone out there has the time or inclination to read or become involved with other peoples lives or experience.  I have always journaled and spewed forth what was in my head.   It has somehow always helped me to gain perspective and it give me direction.   The more important part of this process is that I have actually become disciplined enough to post this each day.

Today is a hallmark day for me as I have an image that is opening in a show in New York City.  It’s part of a show called Postcards From the Edge as a benefit for an organization called Visual AIDS.   My friend John Douglas from Sydney, Australia has submitted work to it before and suggested I also do so this year.  He suggested it would be good exposure for me and start to get my images out there.   So here it is!  I keep questioning: with the world filled with so many images and artists how does one get their stuff out there and begin to become recognizable.  I feel my talents have been hidden from the world.  I just didn’t know how to approach expanding my market.  I know it’s something I have got to constantly work at, to network and reach out to others globally.  But who are these people?   Last summer, I joined the Red Bubble community, which was a collective of international artist based out of Australia.   It was the first time I had shown any of my images and I was quite surprised by the response.  It felt as if I immediately become a hit with a community of like-minded artists.  I even put several pieces into a show in Sydney.   But then I got busy with the summer and was distracted with other work.  Without constant working of the site I soon dropped below the radar and disappeared back into oblivion.  The big question: is there a market for any of this kind of stuff and where do I really want to go with it?  I would love to focus on this sort of imagery, but it takes time and how do I juggle everything else to still maintain this?  Where, or even will I find a tipping point when I can make money on such images and be able to sustain myself economically, to be able to make it grow?   My big hindrance has always been; are my images worthy of going into a global market?   I believe they are!   I am surprised by what a body of work I have amassed over the years.   I think this show in New York is a step in the positive direction. I now need to find other ways and places to submit my images.   I need some help figuring it all out. Anyone out there that may have a suggestion?   I am willing to try anything.

Today’s image is part of a series I called “End of the Relationship.”  Its was about two guys who had shared a remarkable relationship together, and realized they both were now heading in different directions, that it was time to let go of each other.  They wanted to capture the essence of what they had once held, and allowed me into their world for this brief glimmer, before they departed.   This is the image currently in the “Postcard from the Edge” show and auction.

Objectives of The Naked Man Project

My goal and objective in creating The Naked Man Project is to explore my own precepts of art and the creation of male erotic art.  When I first began photography in 1997 my teachers always said “shoot what you know.”  My background was theater and I was a gay man living in the wilds of Montana.

I spent 10 years on the road working as a professional stage manager and lighting designer.  Eventually, I reached a point, growing tired of being nomadic and scrambling for work that I decided to return home.  Montana, as you may have guessed is not a hot bed of professional theater, although it does have some very good things going on.  The fact of the matter is I was born and raised in Montana and my family still lived here.  I had visited or lived in most of the major cities and realized that my small town sensibilities just did not belong in that kind of environment.  My first love true love was with a man. There was something exciting about growing up in Montana as a gay man during an era when it all felt taboo.   Forbidden passion ignited a hidden sub-world of intrigue, mystery, and allure. When you connected with someone you knew it would probably be fleeting, so you had to savor every possible moment and take the experience to it’s fullest sensual potential.   Often times the experience become like an intoxicating dream that remained in your head as a romantic reverie.

The nude male body certainly seemed to have been a taboo subject among modern artists.  To paint, to draw, or to photograph the nude male generally implied you were gay and that fact often needed to remain hidden.  Certainly images were still produced, but most of it remained underground.  It wasn’t until Robert Mapplethorpe in the 1970’s that homoerotic art really began to emerge.  Ironically it was Mapplethorpe’s work that brought me to photography.  One fall, while I was working backstage at a small regional theater, with little to do and a great deal of time on my hands to read, I accidentally received his biography from a mail order book club Mapplethorpe: A Biography by Patricia Morrisroe.  At first I was appalled by the graphic descriptions of his explicit sexual lifestyle.  Yet I was captivated by a man who had the courage to utterly express himself, to explore his own sexuality , and create a remarkable visual representation of his perceptions, experience, and environment though the creation of his  imagery.   I instantly knew this was to become my destiny and when the current theater job finished, I wanted to returned home to begin my own process of discovery.

My goal with this project, is to explore my own artistry and desire and my need to create beautiful images of the male nude. To expose my inner sensual/sexual identity though a daily blog. The project: for one year I will post a new image each day that I have created and examine my need to create it.

The Project Begins

It always excites me to begin a new year.  I spent a good portion of yesterday doing my annual year-end summary, which I have done since I was a kid.  New Year’s morning I like to spend a couple of hours writing several pages about everything I had accomplished through out the course of the previous year.  It brings into focus all the amazing accomplishments I have achieved though out the year and reminds me of weakness I would still like to work toward overcoming. Last year was brutal, I began the year engaged in an application process for a job I was absolutely perfect for which would have ensured me a life of security.  But mid year, when the job finally opened I was passed over which forced me into a painful introspective look at myself.  I began to look outside of myself, which lead to year of amazing new discoveries and getting back in touch with a side of myself I had lost since undergoing treatment for cancer four years earlier.  So what started as a painful process became a year to reclaim myself.  I am an incredibly talented guy who’s weakness is my inability to promote myself.  No one knows about me as I struggling to survive and keep my head above the water.  I see it is now time to change all that.  My focus and energy this year is going to be about creating a public image of myself as an artist. Yesterday I took the first step by building a Facebook page that will feature my artistry as a photographer, but today’s focus was to create a new self-portrait.  It is time I really take a look at who I am at this stage of my life. I find self-portraits the hardest type of image to  create. It’s difficult for most of us to look at ourselves and examine who we really are with out being overly critical. The self-portrait isn’t merely a snap shot of ones likeness; it is a mirror of ones ideals, emerging style, and perspective. It needs to capture the essence of how we relate ourselves to our work. It’s far easier to photograph someone else as  a subject, because you can see their personalities emerge and draw it out of them, coach them into the best light. But most of us have a hard time seeing who we actually are and therefore want to project what it is we think we want to be or become.
I have therefore conceived of this idea to present a new image everyday of my artistry and write something about who I am,  how I have lived my life, and what  has led me to this moment.   I now commit myself to somehow create a chronicle, everyday, for an entire year;  to examine and expose myself and reveal my own journey with complete candor, honesty and truth no mater how painful.  To create an odyssey of  one man’s exploration in finding himself and his search for light, beauty, desire and art.