A question has recently arisen about getting to the essence of who we are as artists. I have recently been reading a book about a man, in love with photography from age 10, who went to a photography workshop with the photographer Minor White in the 60’s. He was posed with the question of photographing his essence, not to photograph his personality, but to go deeper into the core of his being, to “Photograph who you really are.” He couldn’t grasp the concept of finding himself or even recognizing himself but then has an epiphany that clearly defines his vision and changes the course of his life. The book is called “The Zen of Creativity: Cultivating Your Artistic Life” written by John Daido Loori and it is a completely different approach to discovering who we are as creative souls.
In a sense this year of exploration has become my own epiphany and I feel more in touch with myself then ever. I began to think about myself and examine my own creative process. Do I really photograph who I am? I think so. Though I use others as my subjects the true essence of what I feel is expressed through the overall feel of my images. Mr. Loori, a skeptic at the time, talks about going into the forest, questioning the nonsensical meaning of White’s idealism, and discovers a place where he releases that doubt and comes into touch, through a trance like state, with the subject. The subject then does not become the object of the image, but his feeling to the connection to the subject, becoming the vision of the image. I began to realize this is the state I often enter when I begin to work with my naked male subjects. All inhibitions evaporate, I have set the stage and defined the parameters, communicated to get to core of my subjects perceptions of themselves so that the moment is ripe to just touch the essence of what I feel in that moment. The shoot then becomes a history of every experience I have ever had and how it relates to this person in this moment, to really explore who we are in this moment. So many people comment on my images as having a quality they cannot describe or put their finger on to define. It’s not really something that can be copied or emulated, but organically comes out of what unfolds before me. I do not have a formula for lighting and it is not consistently the same from shoot to shoot. It is tailored to the specific subject and the vision of how I see them when we first meet. Yet everyone says my style is highly recognizable so there must be some consistency to it. Even when some models posted images we had shot, to their social networking profiles without my name associated with the images, others began to recognize the images as ones I had taken. I do remember when I first began photography questioning what makes an image recognizable to a certain artist and how I could for would define my own unique style. I realize now after years of photographing and looking back that it just naturally evolved without me really having to work at or affect the outcome. It is the essence of who I have become.
Most of my life has been defined by my sensual/sexual nature, seduction, being seduced and of course my love and fascination of the male figure, both clothed and exposed. Much of my life was very sexual, but as I have grown older, the sexual allure that once motivated me seems to have vanished. I am no longer concerned with the physical side of my sexuality but am most intrigued with the spiritual essence of what remains. I don’t see my images as sexual at all. I had a young photographer just out of journalism school approach me the other day wanting to intern with a studio photographer. I sent him a link the new site and told him what I was doing. His response was a scoff at the idea of working with nude people as means to learning studio technique as he rejected what I take for granted as natural.
It feels remarkable to finally have some time to focus on things that most interest me now. I just need to process this wedding and then the remainder of the year will be working full force on The Naked Man Project website. It feels like we are finally beginning to tame the beast of understanding how the project functions internally. New artists have been submitting works and I have been building galleries for them. The first one should be up in the next couple of days and I have to say for the first time in months, I am quite excited by the prospects of potentially where this project can go. There are so dang many talented people out there that have been hidden or that very few people know. I feel like I have finally found my place and am creating a place of expression for artist wanting to deal with identity and the nude male. This vision that I have been dreaming of all year now becomes a reality. There are still people commenting on the old Blogger blog and I would encourage everyone to now move or begin posting in the new blog. I cannot transfer your comments and I would love all that you are saying to become a part of the permanent record of what this project is becoming. I have always seen myself as a collective artist and strongly believe in art as collaboration. This includes feedback from both artist and non-artist. If it stirs a feeling or emotion and it is worth documenting or expressing your opinion. I know this sometimes takes a lot of time to log in and do, but it becomes worthwhile and meaningful to others. It is our goal to have everything cleaned up and the site fully functional, with most of the bugs worked out and formally release the site, on December 1st. My goal then for the month of December is the begin opening up all the galleries, and get the featured artist section completely functional. I then want to close out this year by getting back into the studio and shooting new works. I began shooting some new stuff last week and it has a fascinating new edge to it. Then in January, I want to begin working on reviving the old Man Art with its original creators to build a social network, that was the original source that inspired me to ultimately begin this project in the first place, and build a home for fearless creative expression. This is only the first phase in something remarkable about to emerge.
Wow a morning and afternoon completely free with nothing scheduled!!! It feels like months since I have had a window like this open. The only thing I have to get done today is my posting for the day on here. The ground outside is now frozen and winter in Montana becomes very slow for business that allows me time to focus on my creative endeavors. This is the time of year I get to shut myself into the studio and just focus. Shooting and the website will become the heart of what I do all winter. I love to make soups in the winter and fill the space with savory smells and invite others into the space to work on new concepts and ideas. I haven’t even had a chance to think about where I want to go next. I know the website will become a major focus as we begin to hone and refine it. I have begun to order some new books on male nude art, with a focus on painting. I have now proven myself as a photographer and now need to focus on images that get more to the heart of who I am. Topics I am most interested in are Greek and Roman mythology and I see how powerful its influence has been on so many other artists. What is it about these images that are so deeply connect to us? Is it the classic beauty or the actual myth that tugs at our heart that we want to identify with? I am particularly drawn to the theme of Orpheus, the idealism of intoxicating music that lulls us and being so captivated by another that he is willing to risk going to hell in order to retrieve it. It has been in my head for years and how we tell this story is not entirely clear yet, but is worthy of exploration. I am quite surprised that this is a story that has not been reworked for cinema. The theme is universal and captivating. It seems we all live in an era of loss, a time where we all search for desire and to be connected to something we want to love. We forget how beautiful and poetic life becomes as we begin to build barriers to encase and surround ourselves. I know I have. It seems life becomes more of a struggle just to maintain a normal existence. The theme of loss of a part of oneself and what we need to do the recover it fascinates me and basically has become the primary focus of this year. As an aging man, I want and need to revisit what was once vital to my youth. But is seems the darkness of life surrounds and often shrouds us locking us into a protective barrier that we often cannot overcome and so we become stuck in a place we may not necessarily be comfortable or even happy. Though I have lived a creative life most of my adult life has remained hidden behind this curtain. Now that I have reached this place of comfort and security within my own self I begin to ponder, why did it take me so long to get here? What was I really so afraid of for so long that held me back? My life has certainly not been easy, but then I know neither has anyone else. I am beginning to think our plight is to struggle with finding meaningful existence, yet I remember a time when I was so idealistic and my dreams wider then the ocean. Now I have crossed those oceans and the idealistic dreams are back. But it feels there is a huge hole or gap in the middle of my life filled with loss fueled by uncertainly and loss. I think this erodes at the core of our self-expression and breeds doubt. I think it is the mythology of hero that surpass the insurmountable odds that become so iconic and perhaps this is what mysteriously draws us to emulate them. It’s defiantly worth of the exploration.
I have recently been working through the Reed Massengill book Uncovered: Rare Vintage Male Nudes and am struck by the remarkable beauty of the images, not so much the models that are paraded though out the book, but by the photographer’s skills in crafting the images. One particular photographer from the 60’s, I think who had an exceptional eye, was Al Urban, a photographer I had never even heard about. He used stark backgrounds and you can tell from the images spent quite a lot of time working with the light to create a perfect balance. As a photographer and I suppose particularly as a lighting designer, I learned early to pay close attention to light, the source, the color, the quality. Photography is a process that I think really can’t be taught. Sure, you need to learn the basic skills of how the camera functions and when you yourself have absolute control of the tool, but the remainder of what you need to know is, how do I relate to this subject and that is developed through your power of observation. The best way to learn your craft is to study the masters who have crafted images before you. I used to love fashion magazines, not for the stories, but for the remarkable lighting in the images the photographers created to sell the products. My ideal Sunday would be to buy a stack of magazines and slowly go through them page by page ripping out all the images that excited me in any way. Sometimes it’s a look in one, sometimes it’s a line in another, a makeup technique, a piece of clothing, an exposed neck. Every image had a quality that I adored. I would scatter these images across the floor and study them for hours or even days. Soon I began to understand the dynamic of what made a specific image so alluring. Soon a set of skills begins to develop that helps us to evaluate the image. Since I am so drawn to light, that is the first thing I began to explore in the image. Then I take the concept from the original inspiration, bring it into my studio and begin to explore the properties of lighting within the images. I began with hot lights because I was fascinated with the old Hollywood glamour lighting styles and knew I could maintain absolute control and could actually see the results. Then each month I added another piece of equipment that would do something else until eventually I had strobes and eventually designing my studio to channel the natural light into in certain ways. Everyone that walks into my studio seems mesmerized by the remarkable structure of light of the building. This all begins with understanding the photograph and is fed by an impulse. It’s funny as I write this the morning sun is coming over the hill and the room took on an extraordinary glow, since the trees are barren and can no longer filter on the east side of the house. I now wish I had someone naked standing before me to use this beautiful radiance as an example. And in this moment I feel in tune with the universe and as it gives this extraordinary moment just as I write about it. I digress, today’s topic was going to the about viewing a photograph for the lighting properties, but suddenly the preface on light seems to have taken up the entire blog. Tomorrow I will talk about how to evaluate images to extract their lighting values.
It has been about two and a half months since I returned from my inspirational trip to France and Germany and have since accomplished the goal I set out to do. This morning I have began reconnecting to some of my Man Art and Red Bubble friends and approaching them on the possibility of building a gallery of their magnificent works that could become featured artist on the new site. It feels that I have been in a creative hole since my return from the trip that I have lost touch with all my creative artist friends that are also exploring the nude male form. Hopefully you will begin to see new galleries of their work begin to populate the new website and it will finally begin to grow. Not that I don’t have enough work of my own to do because I still have 32 of my own galleries that we have created, but not had the time to put up yet. The site will continue to grow in the upcoming weeks. I am still trying to figure out some of it operational features and placement and links to the home page. And, I have been trying to take some time off and get caught up with my own life. But perhaps, this is my life. Not a bad life at that if so. The gardens are about to bed for the winter and this seems like an excellent way to spend my winter, stuck indoors working on this vision. Today I have to say thanks to Franz Werner in Berlin, who is one of the most inspirational people who have given me the idea for making this project happen. I have never seen a man so passionate and dedicating so much of his life to showing the modern male erotic form.
