The coldness is beginning to set in, which indicates that I am coming full circle on the project. It began in the dead of winter and now, as I begin to feel winter come upon me, I realize this project has followed me through a complete cycle of my life. Yesterday I hit three hundred posts through the process of a year. I am beginning to look back through all I have written and created over those three hundred days, for some of the most interesting points to start to somehow work them into the new website. Although I was not sure where I was going in the beginning with this project, I knew I really wanted to go there. Now the goal seems clear and vividly laid out before me. I have never had such clarity in my life. The year began with so much doubt and a real fear of becoming lost or fading into oblivion – the fear of a man dying without ever having accomplished his greatest dream. This project has become the journal of that dream. The daily struggle and exploration in finding myself and the discovery of light, beauty, desire and art. What seemed a daunting task in the beginning now seems to have become a way of existence. I honestly didn’t think I would make it this far. I kind of expected I would end the year in disappointment, having realized what a failure my life had become, and would somehow have to jump off the Madison Street bridge into the cold icy waters in the middle of a cold winter night. But the opposite has now happened. Through the course of this year I have mended all the old wounds and have examined my life in such detail – some of it interesting, some not. I have come to the conclusion that what I have lived and experienced is relatable to so many others I have encountered along the way. I have confronted and made sense of all the nonsense of life amongst the shadows. The new website is really a gift to others who have helped me along this journey. It becomes not just a look at myself, but an examination for others who also live creative lives of desperation. To live in our time and our culture and become a creative soul seems daunting if not near impossible. It seems the world is stacked against us. I am an older man and do not seek fame or glory at this stage in my life, but look for relevance and meaning that has allowed me to live such a daunting existence. Today I feel I’ve crossed into a new arena of my life – one that is filled with possibility and hope and yes, desire. I guess it could be “It’s A Wonderful Life” syndrome – being able to see beyond oneself and find what is truly remarkable about one’s seemingly meager existence. Does everyone look back and say this is the sum of what I have become? I know the struggle is the same for all of us. I guess this is why I am so drawn to art, literature, movies and photography. I see that my seemingly rough life of living on the outside has been extraordinary and filled with a rich wonder. Today I feel lucky.
Category Archives: Art
One Common Place
We have set a target to release the new website for a week from today and we are all working to get things ready to unveil. An excitement is growing within me like I have never quite felt before. The culmination of all our creative efforts is finally coming together in one common place. We have defined and redefined and tested what the process is and have learned from lots of mistakes. And I no longer function as an individual but more as a team. It’s very odd to be able to step outside of myself and begin to look at the creation of a body of work. I know for major artists they always do those sorts of 10-year retrospectives; well this will become the same. This has become of the greatest endeavors of self-examination ever. The Naked Man Project will finally find that exposure I was looking for late in the summer on the European trip. I see that trip as the catalyst that has brought this all to existence. I have recently been reading a book about building findable websites and what makes them successful and see that I have all of the essentials already in place. I now see it has been in place for a long time through the blog, it just needed to be orchestrated to make it more accessible and functional. The key components, I am learning to successful web sites are: staying on topic, filling a niche, is authoritative and certainly passionate, is trustworthy, entertaining and must be appealing to its audience interests. Yet it must be original and maintain the voice of the audience. I think I can safely say that I have met the entire criterion through the blog throughout the year, as so many people have been reading and becoming a part of my world and this project. Now I am totally jacked. I fill like I have finally found my place where I can communicate from my remote little place in the mountains of Western Montana.
A Distinction Between Art Or Pornography
Last night a group of us got into a heated discussion about what constituted pornography and what separates it from art. Can pornography be art and vise versa? Since I began this blog the number one post every week that everyone looks at is “Does Showing a Man’s Penis Make An Image Pornographic?” It seems to be the question everyone who works in this field seems to ponder. I know I certainly as an artist explore and often cross that edge. The dictionary definition of pornography is: “printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings”. I think the operative word here is intended. Though I don’t really see many of my images as sexual and am not sexually motivated to create them, I became aware last night the impact they have on others. Who views the images and how they interpret them becomes subjective. We all have different interpretations of what we find stimulating or what excites us sexually. When I was younger just seeing a man’s skin exposed got me aroused and stimulated. And yes there was a time in my 30’s I was obsessed and possibly addicted to porn. But as I get older and I become desensitized by so much experience and exposure, I now rarely find things stimulating in that manner. Now it becomes more of an exploration of what it is I remember about that sort of stimulation. Some of my subjects are not prone to exposure and that line never gets crossed, some people are just so damn sexy with their clothes on, how they wear them, and the shapes and textures they create with their presence. Hence the power of fashion. Yet some people look exceptional fully exposed. Everyone is different and the exploration becomes unique for each of them. My role as a photographer is to expose not just their nakedness, but also aesthetic and emotionally. I perceive we live in a culture where we are getting away from our sense of sensual desire. The desire encompasses the entire being and not just parts of that being. My work for me becomes a compass that reminds me of that romantic idealism that has begun to erode from my life. It becomes about how I see myself in relationship to my subjects and sometimes that intention has been to erotically stimulate. So by the dictionary term my work is pornographic. But because I show a man’s penis does not mean the image was intended to stimulate. I have seen so much great male nude art in my life that I no longer zero my focus in on what dangles below, but absorb it for it’s aesthetic feeling. This is why I love art and am fascinated by my necessity for exposure. I got my first glimpse of a man’s penis in National Geographic magazine showing naked aborigines when I was a kid. I remember how sensational it was. I was possibly too young to be stimulated by it then but there was something forbidden about seeing something that needed to remain hidden. Here some 40 years later, I am still pondering its mystery.
Gems of Images Buried Deep
Despite all my yammering yesterday about the death of art in general, I am having a blast being creative. The creative process is rarely about money, and my life seems to have been always living on the fine edge of poverty and sustainability. There were so many great thoughts and comments yesterday about what constitutes art. My friend Katie La Salle-Lowery posted on my Facebook: “After all, everyone has access to pencils, paints, etc., too — but we aren’t all able to make art with them.” This kind of brought it into perspective for me as I began to ponder what makes an artist, an artist? Someone else had commented on the use of lenses and tools to tell stories from the artist’s perspective. To me, the process of creation is what makes my life sustainable and bearable to live and, all in all, I am having a blast doing what I do best and personally growing with each new adventure. It’s not like I am out to duplicate what I have already done, but a discovery into something new I have not yet touched upon. I am beginning to see that the new website will become my gift to others of my life well lived. About a man with hope in his soul to discover his identity that happens to make beautiful images in the process. As I begin to look over the vast body of work I have created, I am often startled and surprised and what I have been able to express. Right now it is so massive that it’s become over whelming to contain. Where do you begin and where does it stop. Yesterday we completed one complete section for Chad, hence the images of Chad the last two days, with only 30 images. But we have uploaded nearly 2000 images to the site that actually need to be worked through. Every time Thor goes through the archives, he finds gems of images buried deep. Things that were discarded in a first cut long ago that I haven’t looked at since. I find it delightful to have such a problem to deal with. I know the site does not have to be completely ready to launch and I can just activate the sections that are necessary that are done. There are just a few broken areas that need to be solved, but I am aiming at getting it up and out there within two weeks. After all it will always be a work in progress. I loved the comment Marg from Australia left on the blog yesterday “I think copyright is on its way out. I find it impossible to protect my work anymore – I think I will just stop worrying about it. There is just too much else to worry about LOL! And if someone thinks its THAT good that they want to copy or nick it for their w/site – so be it. Kinda flattering, in a way – LOL!” Flattering indeed!!!!!
I Can Always Sell Matches
Wow it is mid afternoon and I feel like I have been sucked into the world of cyber reality as I am trying to figure out how to put together yet another piece of this mysterious website. My topic of search today has been: “How can I actually protect the images I put on the Internet?” I have completely come up blank. There are no real solutions actually available out there that can or will work. It seem that it mostly comes down to choice of completely marking the images up with some sort of watermark that will completely cover or obstruct the nature of the work or just putting the images out there for free access. I am not over comfortable with either. The nature of artist is free expression of the art or images without obstruction. I would like to be able to market myself somehow, but if most everything is just for free on the Internet then we end up working for nothing and it completely loses it value. What a strange time we live in where modern media is so limitless and expendable. I feel like I am living in a world of constant frustration that I can’t seem to make work and that the only options are a loss on either end. I wish somehow I just had a limitless wealth so that I could just be creative and not have to worry about the possibilities. Am I just two or three steps behind the technological world where I live? It feels most of life has been lived in a world of dying art forms. I was passionate about theater, but in a sense as I entered that world it too was coming to a close. Overall, the next generation is not really interested in such art forms and it seem that fewer and fewer young people are going to such events. Broadway still seems alive and thriving, but the ticket prices have become so hefty that many can no longer attend a show or will save up for one or two during the course of a venture into NYC. There was a time when I would fill every possible slot with a show when I was in the city, often two a day seeing 16 shows within a two-week visit.
Then I moved into the world of my second passion; photography. I believe the downfall of this medium is has been the advent of instant capture, instant see era. Everyone with a cell phone becomes a photographer and it’s instantly on line. I have seen the images from the new I-phones and I have to say they are utterly awesome. You no longer need any kind of training or experience to get really great results and people around the world are able to share your expression within moments. Perhaps this project becomes for naught, and is just a cry in the darkness of its fading history? I guess I am still having a blast in the creative process though most of the time I have no idea where I am heading. I still love theater and the experience of live interaction. I still love photography for the experience of live interaction and the beautiful essence of what lingers in its wake. Perhaps I should just remain in the garden because of my live interaction with nature, but then again it’s also heading to its season of dormancy. What is a girl to do????? One of my favorite scenes in a movie is from Victor/Victoria, where Julie Andrews dress has shrunk from the rain, and it’s the middle of the night, she is at wits end and begins to sob, “What am I going to do?” Robert Preston replies, “Sell matches!” But then again I live in a world of eternal flame and smoking seems to be on the decline.
