I always begin my day by logging onto this blog and reading others comments. This morning I see an amazing tribute given to me by a man named André in Lausanne, Switzerland who blogged about me in his blog Case des homes. The original text was in French, which I cut and paste into Goggle Translator to convert. I was overwhelmed to see such and hear such an in depth analysis of what I’ve been doing. Obviously André has been following my work very closely for quite some time, because he used quotes from my blog many months back. Thanks you André, I am greatly honored to see such a tribute. Today I feel that I have reached a new level of understanding of what this project is becoming. It has grown far beyond myself and my provincial home in the mountains of western Montana. I see how my words and images profoundly influence other people and the way they process and perceive gay culture from around the world. Here is a man who’s translation of the heart of what I have to say, though it is not literally my words, through another language capturing the importance of my thoughts, ideas, and concepts breaking beyond all bounds of possible barriers. Lately I have been filled with doubt as to what I am actually doing, going on this adventure, searching for my own exposure. It was very uncomfortable for me to put the request out there on Kickstarter asking for help in such a manner and the response was amazing. So many people have come and pulled together to make this happen. It is now four am in the morning as I am up early trying to ready my mind for the transfer of time to another country and another time zone eight hours ahead. Last time I flew to Paris I was a young man with an idealistic dream in his head of learning about the origins of French Theater. Some twenty odd years later, I am embarking with another idealistic dream of departing my years of experience and knowledge between then in a new format that allows us to reexamine our lives through an art form. The first voyage was very naive and filled with innocence of a world I was passionate about, but didn’t clearly understand. It is funny because here at another plateau of my life, still filled with passion, I still feel a bit overwhelmed with that naïve innocence once more, but this time instead of taking from the world it has become a reversal as I now want to now impart my insight upon that world.

Today I present the final image in the portfolio series. This image of Travis in my studio in so many ways represents the culmination of my skills and talent as a gay artist. I have taken an old form that I have loved and admired for decades and crafted into my own. I have given the modern gay man a glimpse into the heroic beauty from which he emerges. My skills as a designer, artisan, and craftsman are all present and accounted for in this image. It is the culmination of my life encapsulated and held within the frame of an image. The expression is of my own existence, thus becoming my own image of Dorian Gray. But this time it is not only the subject of the image that is captured but is now the artist behind the subject that is revealed. I now know and feel I am on the brink of something extraordinary. Thanks to all who have supported and promoted the project. I now see what it is becoming.

If there is anyone in France or Germany who can help me meet this goal, please contact me while I am there. I still need some help with possible places to stay or connections because I don’t have all the pieces and can use any and all help to fill in the gaps and make this happen. You can reach me on my gmail account This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. I am also still looking for some last minute finical support as the plans have been changing and more then expected cost have arisen. Thanks you so much everyone I am on my way.

Google Translation:

These unexpected encounters that make you bare

In The Naked Man Project blog where he explores his desire of men and his way of expressing it, the photographer Terry J Cyr of Missoula in Montana describes her struggles and discoveries every day. Soon, he will visit Berlin to present his case to the publishing house that publishes Bruno Gmünder many photo albums on the splendor of the male body, guides and magazines such as Spartacus. [The Governing Mayor of Berlin Klaus Wowereit visited the other day to the publisher and its Gmünder hundred employees. He wanted to learn about their work and mark the tenth anniversary of the PACS German … Do you understand why I love and admire today’s Germany?
Here are some photos of Terry J Cyr, 50, and an excerpt from his note of February 11 titled Tapping the Raw Sensual Intensity (Extract intensity sensual thought). The story takes place in his youth, when he was a bartender in a gay club in Washington.

The “Parties”: each eye is different.
“One evening while I was returning after visiting friends, I was badly caught in a dangerous neighborhood where even taxis refused to come. I had to walk four blocks away, in a neighborhood where a reigned noisy sex with hundreds of streetwalkers. A very young woman approached me, his eyes fixed on mine and saw the despair of his soul. I wanted to get me out of fear that it consumes me, but stayed frozen in that look, fascinated and bewildered. She understood the story of my life, I was gay and had no money for a pass, without wasting time, she turned to another man with the same intensity. “This is probably one of the most intense gaze of my life. The exchange lasted only a moment, few words were spoken, but we immediately saw the story of one of the another. The exchange has haunted me a good part of my life. He helped me in dealing with those around me. It is with this force that I approach the shooting sessions, the intensity that you can see in my subjects. I always ask my models to be in the moment: “So those who look at the image can read your thoughts, log on and find in them something that makes this picture alive. If you think your shopping list, they are not concerned with the image or you. “It reminds me of the porn industry today, no player seems to feel what he does. How do you want it excites me when you’re not the same? Is the why people turn to amateur porn, sexy and more popular, because it shows the reality. I put the same intensity in my work, I connect to my own sensuality so it resonates with the other. ”

André

Just finished the portfolio and it’s in the box ready to go. Wow I forgot how much I love this kind of work. The trip is now just around the corner as I am making arrangements to meet lots of folks in both Paris and Berlin. The excitement grows everyday now as the time draws near. I have contacted one of my idols of all time Kingdome 19 in Berlin, he is out of the country this week, but talked to someone who runs his business and may get to go see his space and look at some of his work. My heart is racing with the possibility. I feel like there has been so much to get done, so I have been just running around for a week trying to get it all caught up and accomplished. I now have this afternoon free to catch up with myself a bit and actually relax, if I can. I have spent so much time the past two weeks arranging things on my computer, that I am actually burned out of being on line. I need to do something physical today and take a break from the computer. Perhaps I will hike the mountain behind the studio and look out over a little city. It is a time for reflect on the past and dream toward the future.

I added this piece to my portfolio because I think it really best represents me at this moment. Cheyenne standing in front of the American Flag, fully exposed, the look on his face captures the expression of what I am feeling now as I get ready to embark on this new adventure and leap to another continent.

A special thanks to Glenn, Dave, Travis, Ruth, and Mel for helping me get all this ready the last week to get everything ready and just taking on some of the other cores that have allowed me to remain focused.

As I look back through the history of my images, I see a sort of darkness in the images I had not recognized before. Someone commented the other day that they did not think my images where erotic at all, yet that is all I see. There is a boldness to stand on the edge and look inward on one’s own life and ask someone to reveal themselves to you. It becomes a hypnotic dance of exposing ourselves to each other. I am not a mere voyeur who is observing and recording, but I am there, present, emotionally engaged with them. The foundation of any kind of nude photography requires a strong sexual desire. I cannot ignore it. I respond to what is present before me. I am a gay man who follows his impulse. As a young gay man I was very sexually active and driven, but as an older man I recognize what triggers my desire and that really becomes the subject of my images, the impulse is more subdued. It becomes more of a fascination that ignites the need to create a visual representation of that impulse. As may body changes, my desire changes, but the initial impulse does not. The original impulse is that of a twenty something just on the verge of discovering his awakening sexual desire. I was a late bloomer, as they say, and did not explore those options until I was in my mid twenties. So I dwelt in a world of unspeakable desire, recognizing the impulse, but unable to respond physically. It was harder to connect in my day, and the uncertain outcome distanced me further. Growing up in a place like Montana, we are a small community, and fear becoming an outsider. We are close knit and not much remains hidden. We leap with our hearts and are often reveal what on our minds, frank, forward, upfront, and honest. To have a desire for someone of the same sex often creates an internal struggle to first of all figure the desire out and second to either reject it or come to some sort of acceptance. Many lived in denial, suppressing that hidden desire, while others found easier ways to escape by committing suicide and ending the struggle. Very few followed what was actually in their hearts. I was one of the few in my community who was somehow able to come out of the shadows. And that is what many of my images are about is coming out of the shadows.

Today’s image is a young man named George. I instantly hit it off with George from our first meeting and identified with him. He is the new generation living without fear or struggle, accepting, hopeful, filled with a new kind of desire, open, honest and completely upfront, fearless, happy, and content. I see all these things in his eyes and I think what a long way I have come and what a remarkable journey it has become. This will become the 18th piece in the portfolio collection.

I am still looking for a bit more help with my trip so please consider helping out if you can. I am down to the last couple of days on the Kickstarter program. Thanks to all who have helped me so far along the way.

Why is when you think you have some things under control it always just seems to slip out of your grasp? I have been working non-stop to get this trip underway and it’s taking a lot more time then I ever imagined. It’s so dang much work. I am building some new PDF portfolios to put on line because some of the publishers want to have an on line submission for review first. No more than 50 pieces. So I have been working though the portfolio once again, which is taking more time then the first. Since I am such a perfectionist for presentation detail, it’s taken me all morning to get it ready. I now have created a cover letter and begin the submission process. It feels like my day has been obsessed with the process. I am up late at night networking and arranging all my contacts and finalizing details of the trip. It almost feels like I am going to cram every single moment with something. I must begin to pull back and take some time for myself. Everything is underway. There just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to get it all done.

Today’s image is from the portfolio collection. This was an image I had originally rejected, but then when back through several months later and this image just leapt out at me and now I think it’s the best one from the entire series. I fell in love with all the textures here and the seeming depth that is created by the image. I used to sort my images and then discard all the ones I didn’t like in the first pass, completely delete them from my hard drive. But recently I have begun keeping them, because it’s surprising how you will see an image differently when you look though them at another time.

Today is dedicated to Alison; I know Chad is one of your favorite subjects. Thanks for all your help and support along this venture.

The Kickstarter program made the goal and it looks like everything is on for the adventure. I have been contacting and communicating with artist in both Paris and Berlin and am getting excited to meet so many of these people who’s work I admire and have been watching for some time. Wow thank you everyone who has contributed to all this. This is a dream come true. I am going to be busy the next couple of days getting the trip planned and finishing the portfolio and start getting everything in order to head out. Unfortunately with the drop of the American credit rating the value of the American dollar also plummeted to a very poor exchange rate. The last time I was in Paris the dollar was so strong that I could stay and hang for three weeks for next to nothing, including hotels. This trip concerns me a bit and will be tight, but will make it all happen with what’s in place. Any additional help is still greatly appreciated as there a still a few days left to contribute.

This past weekend’s events have really been on my mind, as it settled me and reminded me of home and my sense of place. I am very proud of my western heritage and to have grown up in this area. Sometimes it feels the older we get the further we get from the true core of who we are and forget some of those important blocks that make the foundation from which we sprang. I feel some of my life has been a denial of this part of my self and something that I closely kept hidden, thinking somehow it worked to my disadvantage and would limit my possibilities. But now I see it’s actually an advantage. We are who we are. This is a lesson I desperately needed to learn and it’s funny that it comes right at the cusp of making another giant leap. My years in the theater have mainly kept me behind the scenes, not even recognizable, and I loved being a master of this dark world. I have always had an uncanny ability to adapt and am great at communication with all the various aspects of production and find the balance. Will Paris and Berlin become the same? Will language become a barrier or will heart and the belief in ones talent remain universal. Here’s to a huge leap of faith. I still believe the net will appear. My father said to me this weekend when I was home, boy you have got more guts then anyone I have ever known, and how much he admired that. At the beginning of the project in January I believed that my life was actually coming to a close, but as my friend Marklin keeps saying it’s just a beginning. Wow what an adventure!

I know that not everyone likes what I do and how open I am to reveal my inner thoughts. I heard all kinds of strange stories about what I am doing and others perceptions of the project. A woman said “she liked what I was doing and my images were beautiful, that I always was a bit weird, and now to be working in pornography.” I guess I didn’t think much about it, but my sister Pam said she had posted some link from my Facebook to her site and was a bit ridiculed by it, because they said their children where playing on their computer. It’s funny we live in such a closed culture of becoming labeled or judged. I guess I don’t see it as pornographic and live in a world of beauty, romance and extraordinary light.