The Importance of a Profile

What’s in a profile and why is it important? I always thought that a website about naked men would most be just images and I assumed that’s all I really needed. A picture is worth a thousand words right? Well not necessarily so. Since I began working on this blog project in January, I am really seeing the power of the word and how it enhances what’s behind the image. Last month when I visited the Louvre in Paris, probably the world’s largest and certainly most famous museum, I found myself wandering through miles of galleries, looking at thousands of pieces of art. I am not completely ignorant when it comes to art and know many of the periods and movements and influences of those movements throughout art history. I am no expert by any means, but art is something I am passionate about. I was wondering through this awesome visual wonderland and I became increasingly disappointed by my lack of understanding of so much of what I was seeing. It would have been nice to have a little pop up come up on the images that I was most interested in that could have given me some insight into what I was seeing, why it was created, history of the artist, or the story behind the image. I am a person who craves to know more and understand the relationship of things and think everything has significance, relevance and meaning. Hence, creating this blog about my relationship to my favorite subject, the naked man, beautiful light and art.

As the new site is coming together I am seeing how import these profiles become to the optimization of the website but also to those interested in my artistry. I am now in what’s becoming an enjoyable part of the process of actually writing about all these subjects and giving them life and exploring their connecting them to me. At first I dreaded the possibility of having to write so much, but then I had to laugh, because at the beginning of the year I also dreaded the idea of writing something new every day, somehow it has all slipped out over the months and in many ways some of the writing has become as powerful if not more important as the images.

The brilliance of the internet is that we can now create these interactive galleries, where others can come and look at and learn from the images, it’s almost like taking the process of creation one step further into the dimension of art. We can now quickly gain a perspective of what the image is about: beginning with the image, then understanding the models relationship within the image, then the artist relationship to the model and the need to create the image, and finally the viewer relationship to all those components and their ability to also comment and contribute to the entire process. This has been the core of my goal from the beginning of creating the blog from the beginning, through the entire process and is now becoming my focus in creating “The Naked Man Project” website.

Once I am able to figure this out and establish the model of it existence for myself it will be easy to develop a network of other artist like myself, who perhaps have also been hidden for reluctant, who may be working on something similar in another remote part of the world. This will become a place where we can all interact and explore our fascination to naked man, sexuality, and life issues. Since I got a little long winded today describing the concept behind the project tomorrow I will put that into practice and you will see how it will all function. I will put my model Chad to the test to see what you think.

And Everything Comes Into Sharp Focus

Taking a day off from all of the computer work did wonders for my head. I managed to spend most of the day out landscaping my front yard. Wow it was a fantastic day I got a lot accomplished. I found a Blaze Maple Tree that had a great shape for about half price and brought it home and get it planted out in front. Got most of the tulips planted and put the posts in for a new fence to keep the deer out on the south side of the house. Caged everything so the deer won’t destroy it this winter. Suddenly the front corner of the house that has been neglected and looked like hell since the construction began to look pretty good. Of course it’s all planted and put together for next year.

I finished up about 7 and came in for some dinner, when I heard from Julian and he had the evening free and could meet to work through issues I was having on the new website. I was dog tried and wasn’t up for a meeting, but it’s been so difficult to meet up with him that I couldn’t say no. He come over and worked on planned and researched the site for four hours, into the middle of the night. When he left everything was working and I had a great since of direction. My head was spinning and I couldn’t go to sleep so continued to work the site. So my supposed day away from it actually brought me closer too it. I am so jacked and now see what a massive undertaking I have accepted. But then I never seem to do anything small. This morning I am razor sharp focused on the project now. I have made a huge leap and it all makes sense. I can stop banging my head against the wall, and running around in circles. I now know exactly what I am looking for and where to take it. I am feeling the tension release from my body this morning from the frustrations from the past two weeks. I now see how crucial it is to take the breaks, get out and work on another side of my passion, my gardens as I keep repeating in my head, simplify, simplify, simplify.

The Eternal Beauty of a Garden

Etta Jones singing the blues, coffee with a little cream and sugar, the beautiful fall light filling the studio. It was a very warm night last night and I slept with the window open and awoke to the sounds of the creek. I always seem to sleep more deeply when I sleep to these sounds. This is a Sunday morning of perfection. I have senior portrait client coming this morning and the studio is all set up from one I did yesterday. After that the remainder of the day is mine and I have the place to myself and it’s going to be a day just to myself. Yesterday I bought a couple hundred daffodils bulbs, and so this afternoon I am going to just work in the garden, planting and transplanting. Most people don’t think of fall as a good time for planting, when actually it’s the best time of the year to design and plant your garden for next spring, not for annuals of course, but perennials can really begin to establish if you get them in early just about now. This is the best time of year, as things begin to die back to begin to divide and take clumps from the things that were remarkable from the previous season and spread them around a bit. It’s really how my gardens have grown over the years, through the work I have done in the fall. There are lots of stray ferns over next door and I will move some of those into my shade garden on the creek bank. I have learned in all my years of gardening that ferns are something that do not happen overnight, they are a constant evolution. Seeing what works and eliminating what does not. My creek garden was just a little too busy this year, I keep wanting to grow herbs, because I love to cook, but have not quite found the combination of things that work for me, because I have not yet quite figured out the light in the area. It’s a semi shady area that gets blasted with hot afternoon sun, but not enough for things to mature. Then I have so many critters that live in my yard, because we are on the edge of the wilderness that I also contend with, skunks, lots of raccoons and way too many deer. I have a fencing system planned for the deer, but just have not had time enough to install it yet. I always say I am on phase three of a ten year plan for its development. It’s kind of like the web site and photography, you just keep working at it and it evolves. But I guess that’s life in general.

Did I miss the streetcar named Desire?

Last night I crossed over into a strange delirium of geekdom as I had visions of naked men dancing in my head and my sexual desire crossed into a strange cyber lala land that wasn’t of men with huge penises and small tight butts, but where people were ordinary and a beauty was recognized from within. I have a kid I work with at UPS, who is a total cyber geek, whom I completely adore and I now feel like I have crossed into his dimension of existence, and I have a greater understanding of where he’s coming from. Some friends had invited me out to a drag show and when I got off work last night, I sat at my computer and was suddenly sucked in. But, it all began to click last night, instead of fighting technology I was suddenly a part of it and things where suddenly happening. Oddly enough I didn’t work too late, but had added some major elements to the project that seemed effortless. I looked up and it was only 11:00 pm and I was shocked. Normally it has been 2 or 3 in the morning. I realized the web site had past the tipping point and had crossed to the other side as I shut it down and walked away.

I took the kitties for a nice long walk under the beautiful starry sky, feeling the warmth from the day still in the air as my mind and body become overwhelmed with a great sense of satisfaction. I went to bed early and as I lay there, I laughed at how much I have changed this year and how far I have come and how I have crossed over into a side of myself that I have not felt in a decade. Sex used to make me feel this great. It seems when I hit my forties, the sexual side of myself had begun to shut down. I know guys my age who are still totally engaging in sex, all the time. Why has it all shut off for me? Mostly I think because I had the most ruckus youth and lived that prime to its fullest. I was mostly ruled by my dick from the mid twenties to those forties. I stayed in a long unhealthy relationship for almost eight years because the sex was so extraordinary, and then it took two years to get away from it because we were still having sex even after we separated. Everything became about sex and having sex, so I definitely get it.

Mapplethorpe photographed the people he had sex with and you can often see that personal connection to those subjects and their trust to allow him into places that would otherwise be forbidden. I somehow wished I had found Mapplethorpe earlier and gotten into photography during the prime of my sexual desire and could have recorded all I have experienced. Now as an older man I can only vicariously live that through my imagery and the experiences I write about. It’s like now I am on a different kind of ride, equally as exciting and intoxicating. But it feels like the last 10 years I somehow got off the streetcar at the wrong stop and ended up in a different and strange new place. The past ten years, psychologically, felt as if I had been spiraling into an unknown oblivion finally reaching the bottom at the beginning of this year as I hit the pit of despair witnessing the passing of my prime moving into middle age, rapidly approaching fifty.

Today I stand on the rampart of something extraordinary. Yet it’s an extraordinariness that I have always known and somehow felt was present. Perhaps it is all the sex, fear, anxiety, insecurities and anger that masks and keeps the true nature of our selves hidden so we can’t see it. And I have to question this morning where would I be today if perhaps I had not made this leap and come on the journey of this year. My desire has changed and so have I. I take delight in that thought and that maybe that streetcar, though still functional, just transports us to new neighborhoods, perhaps we just need to get off and explore.

Maintaining the Artistic Integrity

Are you getting tired of hearing about the website yet??? It’s all I can think about anymore and seems to consume my every thought. The process is as frustrating as it is exhilarating. I am not a techno geek and am more of a goal-oriented guy so when I hit a block, become very frustrated. There are so many settings and possibilities for options that I just don’t grasp and I can waste hours on one thing that turns out to be so simple. Julian who helped us set up the system seems to have abandoned us and we are left to flounder as we learn and try to figure it out. On the other side, we are making major leaps every day. We are finally loading the galleries today and I think the overall look and functionality if very impressive.

The fun part is that I have continued shooting through out this web process and had two shoots the other day, both vastly different, which means I had to reconfigure the set up and lighting scheme for the studio. The studio just seems to become a hubbub of activity constantly now. The shooting is becoming more focused as I now have a cleaner vision of what I want and need. I have been mostly working with subjects I have worked with in the past, so it’s easier to jump right in and get going. I am still maintaining and need to keep my focus on the original integrity of where I began this process and have not deviated from that, but the images are improving with each session and subsequent shoot.

Many years ago I only dreamed of being in a place like this and now here I am in the middle of it all and things are coming together. Having the assistants is making a huge difference in how I create. It’s actually allowing me to focus on my process as they work through so much of the detail and I get to jump in and oversee it for maintaining the artistic integrity.

Don’t worry I will be back to some of my interesting stories soon, once we get this thing rolling and I can begin to focus on other things.