I recently bought a book called “Porn: from Andy Warhol to X-Tube” edited by Kevin Clarke which is a visual guide following the history of gay porn both in publication and multi-media formats and it’s evolution.  It’s actually quite a wonderful book that is put together quite nicely with lots of images of porn stars, cover art, advertising, quotes, and fascinating well written articles by people in the business.  It begins with an opening quote by IC Adams from the Gay Porn Times “Porn is an interesting reflection of what goes on in our culture”.  The book is then divided into four sections “Porn as Pop Art”, “The Golden Age of Promiscuity”, “Boom Years: Porn as Safe Sex”, and finally ending with “Grab Your Dick and Double Click”.  Reading and reviewing this history I see how sexual and sensual pornography was at one time.  I think it’s what drew me to do the work I am currently doing from the beginning.  It was about defying normal and celebration of our freedom as a culture.  This book reminds me of all the things I found sensual in my youth and how the leaders of porn industry really seem to have a soul at one point.  I have only read the first half of the book when it was in its golden age, where any and everything seemed possible. It was more of a mind set and truly was a reflection of our humanity and growth as a culture.  It just seems recently in the past decade or so, I am thinking possibly with the advent of video and over saturation of product and its evolution as a cash cow has lead to its fall.  It seems to me this is the point I remember it becoming so homogenized, where suddenly everyone was looking the same, doing the same, becoming the same.  It became a cookie cutter formula that was bankable.  This is the point where I seem to have lost interest and it failed to arouse any kind of reaction within me.  What made the early porn so fascinating was that it was literally a cinema verite in which the subjects where actually engaging in the actual act of sex, where as now the emphasis has been put on them as performers who are acting, and showing us what they think we want to see, which doesn’t engage us at all.  I mean the act of sex is about the connection, bonding and intimate sharing of one’s self physically with another person.  We learn from the art we are exposed to and if all we see or experience become superficial, performing instead of engaging, the imitation of life from that art begins to lack its genuine connection to the actual humans with which we are engaging.  It is this lack of connection from which my own personal quest for art grows.  I still love the idealism of old fashioned romance, of gazing in to my partner’s eyes and seeing his desire for being with me.  To watch a man undress, to reveal himself, the see their vulnerability exposed, trusting someone with your intimacy, and that intimacy becoming a sacred gift.  The emerging and mingling from and within the darkness where desire and intimacy bind us.