Wow a morning and afternoon completely free with nothing scheduled!!!  It feels like months since I have had a window like this open.  The only thing I have to get done today is my posting for the day on here.  The ground outside is now frozen and winter in Montana becomes very slow for business that allows me time to focus on my creative endeavors.  This is the time of year I get to shut myself into the studio and just focus.  Shooting and the website will become the heart of what I do all winter.  I love to make soups in the winter and fill the space with savory smells and invite others into the space to work on new concepts and ideas.  I haven’t even had a chance to think about where I want to go next.  I know the website will become a major focus as we begin to hone and refine it.   I have begun to order some new books on male nude art, with a focus on painting.  I have now proven myself as a photographer and now need to focus on images that get more to the heart of who I am.  Topics I am most interested in are Greek and Roman mythology and I see how powerful its influence has been on so many other artists.  What is it about these images that are so deeply connect to us?  Is it the classic beauty or the actual myth that tugs at our heart that we want to identify with?  I am particularly drawn to the theme of Orpheus, the idealism of intoxicating music that lulls us and being so captivated by another that he is willing to risk going to hell in order to retrieve it.  It has been in my head for years and how we tell this story is not entirely clear yet, but is worthy of exploration.  I am quite surprised that this is a story that has not been reworked for cinema.  The theme is universal and captivating.  It seems we all live in an era of loss, a time where we all search for desire and to be connected to something we want to love.  We forget how beautiful and poetic life becomes as we begin to build barriers to encase and surround ourselves.  I know I have.  It seems life becomes more of a struggle just to maintain a normal existence.  The theme of loss of a part of oneself and what we need to do the recover it fascinates me and basically has become the primary focus of this year.  As an aging man, I want and need to revisit what was once vital to my youth.  But is seems the darkness of life surrounds and often shrouds us locking us into a protective barrier that we often cannot overcome and so we become stuck in a place we may not necessarily be comfortable or even happy.  Though I have lived a creative life most of my adult life has remained hidden behind this curtain.  Now that I have reached this place of comfort and security within my own self I begin to ponder, why did it take me so long to get here?  What was I really so afraid of for so long that held me back?  My life has certainly not been easy, but then I know neither has anyone else.  I am beginning to think our plight is to struggle with finding meaningful existence, yet I remember a time when I was so idealistic and my dreams wider then the ocean.  Now I have crossed those oceans and the idealistic dreams are back.  But it feels there is a huge hole or gap in the middle of my life filled with loss fueled by uncertainly and loss.   I think this erodes at the core of our self-expression and breeds doubt.  I think it is the mythology of hero that surpass the insurmountable odds that become so iconic and perhaps this is what mysteriously draws us to emulate them.  It’s defiantly worth of the exploration.